Pregnant. Even though, it was already a good five month that I was pregnant, I still couldn't get myself used to this. I'm only eighteen, and I was going to be mum. I was panicked at this idea, but I did not want to show it. I just won't show myself weak. I know people wanted to see me fail. I'm not going to let them have this. I wasn't weak anymore. Not know, not ever again. I hated them. If they only knew what was going on in my life. However, they didn't know, and it was better like that. I was happy surrounded by the people I loved... Vegas.... I love him so much. It's so.... I don't know. I'm happy with him. I feel myself when he's around me. No cover. Nothing, just me and him. It. Was enough for me. I didn't need more. Or maybe I did and didn't want to admit it. I don't know. My hands were slowly stroking my rounded belly. These two little creatures were growing so fast. I couldn't see my feet anymore. I let out a small sigh. Their father I didn't even know. I knew nothing of him and for the moment, he didn't even know that I was pregnant from him. This had to change and quickly. The more, I was keeping this from him, the more felt guilty. I had let a message on his. Phone, but that sort of ended really badly; since it was his girlfriend that picked up. Yeah, great idea. Stupid thing to do. However, she was kind. I still don't understand why she was like that. I mean, I could destroy their couple in only a few words. But for god's sake, I wasn't like that. I. Just asked her to tell him to come and see me at my place. I couldn't really move for the moment. Stupid hyperactive disorder I hate you. the doorbell rang. It could only be him. Slowly, I stood up and went to open. He was there. My rounded belly showing under the way to big t-shirts I was wearing. I stood there, unable to say something. The last time I saw, we had sex and then nothing. « Hi...come in... » I moved on the side to let him in.

He was there, in front of me. I… I had no idea what to say. It just was not right. I should not have told him to come. On the other hand, he had to know. It was his right, and the more I kept this from him, the more I was not feeling right. In the end, maybe I should have told since the beginning to not come to this kind of situation. I was now fat - ok stay real, I'm fat; five months pregnant, engaged with the guy I love the most and the father of my children was just about to learn it. I had no clue how he was going to react. We never really talked. Well.. no. Never. I was trying to recall something but it only blurry memories came to my mind. I was drunk that night and high, the memories were gone since to long. Suddenly, seeing him there, just brought everything back. That night. The night, I turned eighteen. The night everything changed for me. I would never be the same after this. My whole life, I was slowly giving up on it. I am not the same anymore, and never will be. The old Fien no longer existed. I had given up on that girl the day I chose to keep the babies. He slowly let him in, closing the door behind him. I shoved quickly the too large t-shirt over my belly before showing him to the living room. « Do you want something? Water, coffee, tea? » This was way to awkward for me, and I started to feel tired and dizzy. I am up for to long, I need to sit down, or better lay. I really hated this…being stuck. Stupid hyperactivity, I hate you sometimes. I let Gaël in the living fetching two glasses of water in the kitchen and went back. I silently sat down on the couch. An awkward silence took place, I had no idea how to aboard this subject. How could I tell him, I'm pregnant and you're the father? For me, it seemed so unreal, so… I don't know. I took a quite sip of my drink before putting it on the small table in front of me. I turned myself to the man in front of me. The worst part of this is that I knew nothing about him. I didn't even know that he was in a relationship when it happened. My eyes were looked on his face. « I'm pregnant…from you…»